No matter how hot she is or how awesome you think she might be, your willingness to walk away might be the determining factor between her rejecting you and her chasing after you. Whether we're talking about a girl that you just met or a girl that you're presently in a relationship with, your willingness to literally and figuratively walk away from her at any moment can determine your fate.
Many guys get too wrapped up in a girl... and the girl knows it. When we fall in love with a woman or when we feel like we absolutely have to get to know her, get closer to her or create a bond with this one particular woman, we're screwed. This attitude and frame of mind will destroy your chances of creating what may be a wonderful relationship filled with fun, affection and "what have you".
Here's the deal... she's perfect... she's pretty and smart and funny and you really would like things to move to the next level. If she is even somewhat attractive then there is a good chance that she has guys hitting on her all the time. It's the way of the world and guys are dogs. But you're different... you value her and you tell yourself that she is worth any amount of garbage that you have to go through to get her...
That is mistake number one... if you value her too much then you will be willing to put up with bad behavior and you will fail her test when she tests you... and she will test you. She already knows that you like her or want to be with her because... well, she has no problem with finding guys that want to be with her... but she wants someone of value....someone stronger than her.... someone that doesn't follow her around like a puppy dog. A puppy dog kind of guy is great for a friend and to talk with about guys that she is sleeping with but she's not going to waste her time with a puppy dog who is weak and who will allow himself to be treated poorly... after all, what will happen if she is in danger and she needs someone to handle a situation or protect her when some sleazy guy is hitting on her? The puppy dog will shy away with his tail between his legs... so...She will test you... she'll avoid your calls or not return your text messages for a day or two... she'll give you attitude or blow you off when you've made plans. She might even blow you off to spend time with some other guy... just to see how you'll react. She might not have this thought of "let's see how he reacts" but she will blow you off thinking, it doesn't matter... he'll get over it...
If you get upset and confront her with it and ask her what happened or tell her that you were hurt or offended, you lose. If you blow her off, make other plans or change your routine, she will begin to wonder and worry that she's going to lose you... she will become curious and you will suddenly have more value because you have taken some of the control away from her and you're not following her around like a puppy.
Another example is if she cops an attitude with you or acts snarky with you... showing disrespect or acting as if your attention holds little value to her... or if she becomes offended with you because you didn't do something for her and she confronts you with it. The normal reaction would be to apologize for what you did wrong and explain yourself. If she doesn't forgive you or if she begins to act as though she must punish you by continuing to be rude, literally walk away. Turn your back and walk away from the situation.
This is a technique that I learned completely by mistake but it is one that I also found in the Tao of Badass. It doesn't have anything to do with being mean or rude... it's all about having respect for yourself and in a passive aggressive way, demanding that the woman that you're interested in has respect for you.
Here's the deal... a woman that I really love... I mean, head over heals, crazy in love, best friend in the world and "will you have my child" kind of love pulled this garbage on me all the time. She would cop an attitude and dig up garbage from years ago and get angry about it and feel the need to go over it again and again and again. I would apologize and try to explain myself and tell her that I was sorry but it wouldn't stop.
It wasn't until I literally got fed up... I got tired of the poor treatment and I told her that. I said "I don't have to take this... you're not my wife" and I walked away. I barely made ten steps before she was literally chasing after me. That was when the power dynamic in the relationship changed and if I had known that before I would have done it a lot sooner.
Here's another example... you see a cute girl at a bar or club. You want to talk to her and you're sincerely interested in her. You don't want to screw it up because she's just that awesome. You approach her... maybe you ask to buy her a drink or simply introduce yourself. She has attitude right away and she blows you off or makes some snarky comment about how she already has a drink or she just says "no thank you". You might try one more time to break the ice and you ask how she's doing. Her body language says that she's not interested... she doesn't turn towards you or she sticks her nose up in the air. What do you do?
You cop an attitude right back. You let her know that you respect yourself enough not to allow someone to treat you this way. You remove yourself from the situation and although you might not have her eating out of your hand right away, you have not lost anything and there is a very good chance that she will be thinking "that was wrong of me... I was rude and he was just trying to be nice" and if she doesn't come after you directly then she probably will given a little time. You have turned the tables and put her on the defensive... you have taken that power away from her and you have rejected her instead of the other way around.
High value women or the women that you really do want to spend time with, get to know and date are often the toughest for good guys like you and me. We want a woman that we find attractive and interesting... for a woman like that, we'd do just about anything. Just don't make the mistake of handing over your manhood in the deal... she will wind up rejecting you in the long run and lost respect for you very quickly. Being willing to walk away when a woman is being rude or treating you poorly shows her that you value yourself and that she needs to value you also.
http://tao-of-badass.positive-and-optimistic.org/
